As I mentioned in my blog post
earlier this week, Sunday’s sermon on sex was a little long and there were
several things I gathered in my research I was unable to fit into the
sermon. Those things ended up on the
cutting room floor, but they are worthy to read and consider. I included some of those things in Part
1. Here are a few more things to help
you think wisely about sexual issues in marriage and in our culture.
**********
From The Week, February 16, 2007 via Leadership (Summer 2007), 59. This will make men feel good about themselves (see sarcasm):
A survey of 1,000 American women found
that most valued their favorite clothes more than sex and would gladly abstain
for 15 months in exchange for an entirely new wardrobe.
**********
In his book, 11, Len Sweet (p. 32) quotes this statement from Bill Perkins for those who think they're immune from ever falling into sexual sin: “If
you think you can’t fall into sexual sin, then you’re godlier than David,
stronger than Samson, and wiser than Solomon.”
**********
Here’s part of an
article dealing with a study of sex and co-habitation: Busby, D.M., Carroll, J.S., & Willoughby, B. J., "Compatibility or
restraint? The effects of sexual timing on marriage relationships," Journal
of Family Psychology (2010) | posted 3/07/2011 at
PreachingToday.com
Does delaying sex until after marriage improve your marital
relationship? According to a 2010 research study, the answer is a clear yes. As
reported in the Journal of Family Psychology (and
later in the January 22, 2011, edition of The Economist),
the study surveyed 2,035 married couples and asked them about their initial
sexual experience together (before or after the wedding). Of the 2,035 couples,
336 couples reported waiting until they got married to have sex. The largest
group of couples had sex within a few weeks of dating, and 126 couples had sex
prior to dating. (This prompted a psychologist who reviewed the study to note,
"I guess I'm not sure what constitutes dating anymore.")
After analyzing the data, the three researchers concluded
that waiting until after marriage improved the relationship (for both men and
women) in four key areas: sexual quality, relationship communication,
relationship satisfaction, and perceived relationship stability. According to
the study, people who waited until marriage:
·
rated sexual quality 15 percent higher than
people who had premarital sex
·
rated relationship stability 22 percent higher
·
rated satisfaction with their relationships 20
percent higher
The data showed that premarital sex doesn't necessarily doom
the future marriage to failure. On the other hand, based on this research,
there is no validity to the idea that premarital sex is needed to
"test" and possibly improve the future marriage relationship. The
authors stated that waiting until after the wedding day (what they call "commitment-based
sexuality") "is more likely to create a sense of security and clarity
between partners … about exclusivity and a future."
**********
In the article, “Sex
Economics 101,” Katelyn Beaty asked Mark Regnerus, an early-marriage
sociologist, about his research on the sexual behavior and attitudes of young
adults. (Posted on February 18, 2011, at
ChristianityToday.com).
In light of the
predominance of internet pornography, Beaty asked Regnerus this question: How does pornography change the sexual
marketplace, for women as well as men?
This is Regnerus’ answer:
It takes power away from women as a group, because it
provides men with another sexual outlet. Some will say that Playboy has
been around a long time, but today's porn is not like that. It puts one bedside
in high definition. Individual women notice it in their relationships,
especially in marriage. But even before marriage, it's still at work, eroding
the value of what she has that he wants. Now she has to compete with virtual
sex partners as well as other women.
I used to think young women would have the last laugh
here—that men would come to understand that sex is not like porn. I'm not so
sure about that anymore. Speaking as a sociologist, you can't form enough
accountability groups to erase the effects of porn on the relationship pool.
It's not just about helping Joe Christian steer clear of this thing he'd like.
It colors more than we think.
**********
And there you
have it—a few more things, some of them rather troubling, to provide grist for
the mill of your thinking in regard to sexuality in our culture and for the church.
I encourage you to add your voice to
this discussion in our culture. God
knows the anything-goes voices have had the floor long enough.