tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5999348592503609924.post1368755023046523108..comments2024-03-21T15:39:16.462-05:00Comments on Life at the Altar: Would Have Been 97 TodayJohn McCallumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05239295465786034011noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5999348592503609924.post-41461129529490696592011-01-11T13:12:12.367-06:002011-01-11T13:12:12.367-06:00Thanks for your response, Jeff. I'm grateful ...Thanks for your response, Jeff. I'm grateful for the healing that has happened in your relationship with your dad. I'm grateful you never wrote him off or decided to punish him by inattention for the rest of his life because of the way he treated you. I've learned, as have you, that most of us are the way we are because of reasons. Glad you are understanding of your dad and for being candid in your comment. Your comment will no doubt encourage those who read it.<br /><br />By the way, if you are interested in more of my dad's story you can find it in the blog archive on Jan 5, 2010 under "Happy Birthday, Daddy."<br /><br />Thanks for reading the blog.John McCallumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05239295465786034011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5999348592503609924.post-73176140725868428502011-01-11T13:03:30.145-06:002011-01-11T13:03:30.145-06:00Hey John, I found your blog from a link on Bob Joh...Hey John, I found your blog from a link on Bob Johnston's blog. He's my dad's pastor and friend. Odd how they can be your pastor, but not your friend...they are good for each other though. I hope God has blessed you with friends in your church.<br />Anyway...thanks for this post. I remember moving back home when I was 27 and working for my dad for 6 years till I got married and moved away. I worked my ass off for dad and got paid very little for it and still had occasional "things" every once in a while. Vestiges of a selfish, self-centered, adolescence I suppose. While home, working for him, I got to see his character as a businessman and as a man in general for the first time, as an adult. I got see why, when he would come home from work he would be so frustrated and quick to anger when I was acting like turd, or being self-absorbed. I got to see how much was demanded and asked of him, and I got to see how well and respectful he treated folks who were often treated as "the least of these". I worked really hard for him, followed his lead in business and even helped start a church in a low-income/trailer park area of our town. He saw me minister to "the least of these", he saw me be responsible and mature. And he rode me harder than anyone at work and paid me less because he didn't want anyone to think he was showing me favor. It was a tough road at times, but I often heard from people in town about how proud he was of me, proud of what kind of man I had become, what kind of servant/leader I was to the poor and outcast. But, I never heard it from him.<br />After I married and moved to Denver, they heard me preach at the church plant we were part of and I shared how moving home and working for him and being around him was healing for me and for us. I shared that for most men, all they long to hear from their fathers are the two things that they rarely, if ever hear: "I love you, and I'm proud of you". At my sister's later that day, he told me those things, but my response was "next time, try it without prompting". Quite loving I know, but a fella never wants to go fishing for that, he wants it when it comes unannounced, you know?<br />Since then, he's been (a little) more forthcoming in his praise for me, and each time it's like a salve on a wound or a...well...a compliment from your father.<br />I just wanted to thank you for your words and the reminder of my own father. I try to be more verbal to my own son, but find myself adding "help" along with the praise. I should be more extravagant and less critical.<br /><br />thanks again John.<br /><br />jeff jamisonjeff jamisonhttp://www.facebook.com/jeff.jamisonnoreply@blogger.com