Presidential Debates and Sharing Christ

Have you been watching the debates?  These are some of the most intriguing I remember.  In the first debate, Romney grabbed Obama by the neck, jerked him out of his shoes, put him on a stick and mopped the floor with him for about 90 minutes.  Obama admitted as much.  In the VP debate, Joe Biden spent most of the time smirking, laughing, and patronizing his younger opponent, Paul Ryan.  Most considered that debate a draw.  In debate #3, the President came out swinging and scored his share of points in a town hall format that looked almost like a WWF Grudge Match without the cage.  They invaded one another’s space and each delivered verbal body blows and head shots.  It reminded me of the old hockey joke: “I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.”  A debate broke out in the town hall meeting, but it felt more like a fight.  It appears to me that Obama and Romney just don’t like one another, maybe even hate each other.  No matter which candidate is your man, it’s been interesting.

And as I was driving home for lunch, thinking about tonight’s debate, wondering what might unfold in this third and final rematch, an idea came to mind.  I got to thinking about presidential debates and sharing Christ.  My mind raced back to the mid-70s when Evangelist Bob Harrington (“the Chaplain of Bourbon Street”) debated famous atheist Madalyn Murray O’Hair about the Christian faith on the University of Arkansas campus.  It struck me then that sharing Christian faith is not really designed for debate.  Sharing Christ is not about making points; it’s not about winners and losers.  It’s not about playing to the crowd either. 

So with all that in mind, what can we learn from these debates about sharing Christ?  It’s kind of a mixed bag of dos and don’ts.  What do you think of these observations?

1)      Be prepared.  Peter encouraged us to “always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have” (1 Pet 3:15).  Know who and what you believe, and be ready to share it when asked.  This doesn’t mean you have to have every answer to every question, but at least be ready to share who Christ is and what Christ has done for us all.

2)      Value the person with whom you’re sharing—not just in flattering word either, but in heart and in deed.  Not only will this open ears, it will communicate in non-verbal ways the love of which you speak.

3)      Sharing Christ is not a “talking point” dump.  Sooner or later all of these debates descend into talking point blather that the candidates’ surrogates have been spewing every chance they get.  Sharing Christ involves the sharing of information, but don’t just back up the truck and dump the whole load on person.  Maybe that person is ready for just a piece right now.  Trust the Holy Spirit with that.  Be content with that.

4)      Answer the question you’re asked, not the question you wish had been asked.  Have you noticed that no matter whether a moderator or Jane Q. Public asks the question, the candidates essentially answer whatever question they want to answer?  They just want to push their own agenda on the questioner.  In sharing Christ, don’t you think it’s best if we limit our answers to the questions that are raised?  That way the discussion stays more focused and more other-centered than self-centered.  It makes our sharing Christ an act of service.

5)      Don’t interrupt to make your points.  That says, “I’m not listening.”  That says, “What you have to say is not as important as what I want to say.”  Interrupting is rude in any conversation, and all the more rude when we represent our Lord Jesus.

6)      Don’t patronize the person with whom you’re sharing.  Does it advance the love of Jesus to treat people as if they are unimportant, uninformed, or less important than oneself?  Does talking down to someone open their ears to the Gospel?

I don’t share these ideas as a means of being overly critical if you share your faith in a more aggressive fashion.  Evangelist D. L. Moody once said to a harsh critic of his evangelism methods, “I may not always get it right, but I like my way of doing it better than your way of not doing it.”  Touché!  If you’re a faithful witness for Jesus, more power to you.

But these things I’ve learned about sharing Christ from these presidential debates just seems like common sense to me.  Jesus came to seek and to save the lost (Lk 19:10).  Let’s join him in that journey.  And let’s do it in such a way that when we tell a person Jesus loves them, they will find it easier to believe because they experience His love through us.

Benjamin Is Here

Benjamin made landfall on October 10, 2012, in New Braunfels, Texas.  No, I’m not talking about a hurricane; I’m talking about my new grandson.  (Whether or not he becomes a hurricane remains to be seen.)  Benjamin Robert Parrish was born to Robert and Kristen Parrish and sisters, Hallie and Macey Jo.  He weighed in at 8’13” and was 21.5 inches long—a big ‘un. 

The name Benjamin means “son of my right hand.”  If you recall your Old Testament history, you’ll remember that Benjamin was Jacob’s twelfth and last son.  He was the second of only two sons (Joseph being the other) born to Jacob’s favorite wife, Rachel.  Sadly, Rachel died after childbirth.  Just before she breathed her last Rachel named the boy Benoni, which means “son of my sorrow.”  Jacob didn’t want the boy growing up with a name like that.  Think about about it: how many times in one’s life does someone call you by name?  And every time that happened, the boy would have been reminded that his birth led to his mother’s death.  And every time Jacob called the boy by name, he would have been reminded of Rachel’s death yet again.  So Jacob did a wise thing.  He changed the boy’s name from Benoni (son of my sorrow) to Benjamin (son of my right hand).  And I guess if you called him Ben for short both mom and dad would have had their way.  Benjamin—son of my right hand.

Has a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?  I know there are a number of southpaws in our world.  My little brother is one of them.  Most estimate that 10% of the population is left-handed.  So nothing against left-handers here, but most of us are right-handers.  So think about just how important our right hand is to us.  Most of us write, eat, and throw with our right hand.  If you use a weapon, you generally hold it in your right hand.  And if you swear allegiance or take an oath you put your right hand in the air or over your heart.  Also, the right hand side is usually our stronger side and usually the side with which we have the best balance and flexibility.  And in the Bible, the right hand symbolizes wisdom, victory, power, strength, and the place of honor.  Benjamin—son of my right hand.

There are a few famous people past and present who carry the name Benjamin or Ben:

·         Benjamin bar Jacob: passive, baby of the family, much loved, father of the tribe from which Israel’s first king was chosen, son of Jacob’s right hand.

·         Benjamin Franklin: scholar, writer, inventor, patriot, scientist, journalist, kite-flyer.

·         Benjamin Henry Harrison: the 23^rd President of the United States.

·         Ben Bradlee: journalist, longtime editor of the Washington Post who gave Woodward and Bernstein a free hand in their Watergate reporting.

·         Benji: the cute little dog who appeared first on Petticoat Junction and then went on to star in a few movies in his own name.

·         Ben Stein: economist, presidential speech-writer, author, actor, funny guy

·         Ben Affleck—pop actor; Ben Kingsley—classic actor; Ben Stiller—comic actor

·         Ben Hogan and Ben Crenshaw—golfers; Ben Rothlisberger: football player and Super Bowl champion.

·         Ben Vereen: dancer extraordinaire.

I don’t know what our Benjamin will become in the years ahead.  A golfer who can help America finally win the Ryder Cup again?  A writer who stirs people with poetry and prose?  A politician who’ll serve his nation the best he can?  A man who invents some kind of widget that changes the world?  A wise old sage and a renaissance man?  An Oscar-caliber actor capable of performing, romantic comedies, gripping drama, and Shakespeare?  Or maybe he’ll be the big winner on Dancing with the Stars?  I don’t know what our Benjamin will become.

But I know what he is now: a loved and welcome addition to our family; a child knit together in his mother’s womb by the loving hands of God; a boy planted in a home where Christ is loved and adored and the Bible is treasured, read, memorized, and believed; an infant in the nursery of a church he visited in the womb and that has loved him before he was even born; a youngster who will love Jesus from the moment he hears His name and who will one day trust Jesus for salvation from his sins and for real life now and forever; a child who will learn to thank God when times are good and trust God when times are hard.  Already Benjamin’s life is in God’s good hands.  Already God is shaping and forming Benjamin for the plans God has for his life.  God, who knows the end from the beginning, sees exactly what Benjamin will become in the years ahead. 

Though we may have our dreams, all we can really see of Benjamin is what we see today.  But we love what we see.  And we’re grateful God has given us a ringside seat to watch his life unfold.

So welcome to the world and welcome to the family, Benjamin: child of God, son of your father’s right hand, grandchild of a Grammy and a Papa who couldn’t be more grateful, more happy, and more proud.   

Today Makes 35

On October 8, 1977, I had the good sense to marry Dayna Vanderpool.  Whether she exercised the same good sense is worthy of debate.  But either way, on that day we both said, “I do.”  And we have “done” now for 35 years.  I was visiting a lady in the hospital last week and she told me that she and her husband will celebrate their 70^th anniversary this year.  Compared to that, 35 ain’t much.  But 35 is still a pretty long time.  I was 21, Dayna was 19, and now we’re 56 and 54.  Our children are in their 30s, and we have four (soon to be five) grandchildren.  So 35 years is no 70, but it’s no blink either; it’s a pretty long time.

Do you remember what was going on in 1977?

·    Gary Gilmore was executed by firing squad in Utah as the death penalty was reinstituted in the United States.  (While it may seem ironic to some that the death penalty was instituted the year I got married, I assure you that there is no direct correlation.)

·         Jimmy Carter was inaugurated as the 39^th President of the United States.

·         Elvis Presley died a young man; Groucho Marx and Bing Crosby died as old men.

·         The Food Stamp program began.

·    The World Trade Center opened in New York City.  (Yes, that’s the same one the terrorists knocked down on September 11, 2001.)

·       Star Wars was the big movie that year; Debby Boone’s You Light Up My Life was the big song, and TV was loaded with shows like The Waltons, Little House on the Prairie, The Dukes of Hazard, Dallas, M*A*S*H, All in the Family, Happy Days, Laverne and Shirley, and Kojak.  (Yes, it was a different day in television).

·         Cable television was just starting to get its feet on the ground but most Americans still only got three channels and used an outdoor antenna to receive those.

·         The first Apple II Computers went on sale.

·       The Oakland Raiders won Super Bowl XI and the Yankees won yet another World Series.

·         And consider these prices: a gallon of gas cost .65 a gallon, the average cost of new house was $49,300, and the average annual income for Americans was $15,000.

·         You could buy a brand new Camaro for just over $6,000, a BMW for just over 12 grand, and a Chevette (our first car) for just over 3,000 bucks.

A lot of water has gone under the bridge since 1977—35 years worth to be exact.  As you can see from my little trip down memory lane, a lot has changed.  And that includes my love for Dayna.  I haven’t always loved her well, and I could have loved her better, but in spite of the ups and downs of a lifetime marriage, my love for her has grown deeper and richer and more mature along the way.  Isn’t that the way it’s supposed to be?  Isn’t that what God was shooting for since Adam and Eve?  I think so. 

So Happy 35^th Anniversary, Dayna!  I love you.  Unlike the lady I mentioned earlier, I doubt we’ll ever make it to 70 years.  Very, very few ever do.  But this I know and can say with confidence: however many more years God gives, I’ll be grateful for every one.

Christmas 2011

Baseball, the Pastor, and the Church

A few weeks ago I wrote about my resurgent interest in baseball this year.  That interest was rewarded when my Baltimore Orioles clinched post-season play on Sunday.  Add to my baseball interest the fact that 36 years ago this month I was ordained to the ministry, and I thought I’d reflect on my ministry through a baseball lens. 

The pastor is a player-coach.  He leads by word and example.  He doesn’t ask others to do things he wouldn’t do himself.  He doesn’t just pontificate; he is also in the thick of the game.  So after almost four decades in the ministry, more than three of them as a senior pastor, I want to share some of the wisdom I’ve accumulated.  Though I could have done a lot better at my job over the years, God has blessed and I have learned a few things along the way.  A caveat: you won’t see a lot of supernatural references in these little quips; God’s overarching providence and power are assumed.  So with that in mind, here goes.

·         The team belongs to the Owner; the coach’s job is to manage and develop the team.

·         The coach is going to take some criticism.  He needs to learn what he can from it and let the rest of it go.  His primary job is to please the owner.

·         Our opponent is a tough out.

·         Coach the team up, not down.

·         There are no roster limits—you can’t have too many players on your team.

·         I’d rather go down swinging than take a called third strike.

·         Laying down a sacrifice to advance a teammate is a worthy at bat.

·         Sometimes you’ve got to play small ball to manufacture runs.  Small ball = don’t swing at bad pitches, a walk is as good as a hit, bunt for a base hit, sacrifice to move the runners, take the extra base every chance you get.  Small ball is neither flashy nor glamorous, but it gets the job done.

·         A long fly ball to the warning track is still an out.

·         Every player and every team is prone to a slump now and then—coaches too.

·         If you bat .300 in sharing your faith, you are an all-star; if you share your faith at all, you’re a starter on the team.

·         Don’t forget to thank the bat boys, the grounds crew, and the folks who clean the locker room—they’re part of the team too.

·         Pound the strike zone.

·         Even though you’ll probably never change the call, it’s okay to argue with the umpire once in a while on behalf of your team (see Job, Jeremiah, and the Psalms).

·         Everybody makes an error now and then, so lighten up.

·         Make sure the team gets plenty of practice.

·         The positions are different but every position matters.

·         Shuffle the line up every now and then; change the batting order once in a while.

·         The guys in the bullpen need to get their innings.

·         Don’t lose touch with the players on the Disabled List; they’re still part of the team.

·         Talk with each other in the field so there are no collisions and we don’t hurt ourselves.

·         The guy who scores and the guy who knocks him in count the same.

·         It’s okay to let a player rest and sit out a game now and then.

·         Work to maintain unity in the dugout and the locker room.

·         When you’re on a serious losing streak, a team meeting may be in order to clear the air and get refocused on the goal.

·         Don’t let the guy on the bench who would rather watch than play soak up all your energy; give your best attention to the ones who take the field.

·         Don’t be afraid to bring up the guy from the minor leagues and give him a shot at the big-time.  He just might become the rookie-of-the-year.

·         Most every team member thinks he’s a free agent, and some of them will leave your team to join another.  Don’t worry too much about that; you’ll probably grab your share of free agents too … whether you want them or not.

·         When team members get too old or infirm to play and have to take a seat in the stands, tip your hat to them now and then and honor them for all they’ve done.

·         In the course of a long season, some games are more important than others.  It’s important to discern the difference.

·         When on a winning streak, stay humble and stay hungry.

·         And no matter what happens with the team, remember this: the Owner always has your back.

So there you have it: a little pastoral/baseball wisdom as the Major League Baseball playoffs ensue.  If you’re a pastor, I hope this encourages you a little bit.  If you’re a team member, I hope this helps you see some things through your coach’s (uh … pastor’s) eyes.  And if you’re either and you want to add a little pastoral/baseball wisdom of your own, please do so.

Go O’s!  And go Church!

Still Crazy After All These Years

Here it is, September 11, 2012.  Just 11 years ago, the towers came down, the Pentagon was gouged, and a lonely plane crashed in a field outside Pittsburgh before its terrorist pilots could ram it into yet another target.  It was a dark day, a day, according to singer Alan Jackson, “when the world stopped turning.”  It surely did stop turning for thousands of Americans who died that horrible day at the hands of Bin Laden’s henchmen.

Everybody who lived that day remembers that day.  Do you remember the immediate aftermath?  It was amazing.  I’d never seen anything quite like it in my then 46 years of life.  American flags went up everywhere including on cars and trucks.  Churches opened their doors for special prayer meetings and people came.  They came to pray for the victims, for the victims’ families, and for our country, and many even prayed for our enemies.  For the next two or three Sundays churches were more crowded as usual—filled with people looking for hope, looking for answers, looking for something beyond themselves.  And in one of the most amazing scenes of all, we saw film of our Congressmen and women, Republicans and Democrats, arm in arm praying together and singing God, Bless America.  Nope, I’d never seen anything like that in my life.

On that day and in the few weeks that followed, there was no such thing as Republicans or Democrats or hyphenated-Americans or upper, middle, or lower class Americans.  We were all just Americans—united, praying Americans, “one nation under God, indivisible.”  Having grown up during the turbulent social revolution of the 60s, the Viet Nam war, and the Watergate scandal of the early 70s, I’d never seen such national unity in my life than I witnessed in those few short weeks after 9/11.

But, of course, it didn’t last.  Once it was obvious that no more attacks were imminent, we went back to our old crazy ways of division and hyphenation, class warfare, and what Bill Clinton called “the politics of personal destruction.”  We went back into our old ways of not asking what we can do for our country but asking what our country can do for us.  Here it is eleven years later, and like the Paul Simon song so aptly says, “We’re still crazy after all these years.”

Would you join me in praying for a united America once again, an America we all long for, an America unashamed to get down on our knees and ask God for forgiveness and mercy?  It would be nice to see that again.  And it would be even nicer if it didn’t take another 9/11 to get us there.  

Reflections of a Political Cynic

Before you read, a caveat: this is not an endorsement of any candidate.  In fact, it’s sort of a gripe and a petition at the same time.  But, as you can see from the title, I don’t expect it to do any good which means it’s probably not very helpful.  And because cynicism is kind of catchy, perhaps you’d be better off to stop reading right here, but that’s up to you.  You’ve been warned. 

Well, the general election is in full swing.  I can certainly understand why people call this “the silly season.”  The conventions are over; the fact-checkers have informed us that both parties have a hard time telling the whole truth.  Negative ads have already been rolling and will probably only get worse.  Like many elections, by the time we go to the polls, we may find that we have to hold our nose, if we’re not holding it already.  Who can be sure what to believe?  The spin machine on both sides is spinning out of control.  America is in trouble.  And in the meantime, on one side we have a Senate minority leader who (in likely speaking for his party) says his number one goal is to make Barak Obama a one-term president.  (I wish his number one goal was to help Americans find work or fix the economy.)  On the other side we have a president and his party who apparently live in an alternate universe, telling us how things are better and how the private sector is doing fine.  And we have members of Congress who fear voting their conscience if it goes against the party line for fear they’ll be shunned or left out or cut off or underfunded in their reelection campaigns.  Good grief!  No wonder these people can’t and won’t work together.  They love power and they hate each other.  That should come as no surprise, really.  It’s usually always about the power and who has it, more than it’s about anything else.  God, help America, please!  Pretty please!  Forgive us for our sins.  Forgive us for our neglect of you and your ways.  Forgive us for our hunger for power and our lack of appetite for you.

Wouldn’t it be refreshing to hear the president say, “Look, I’ve obviously made some mistakes in my first term.  I can read the numbers.  We’re in trouble, and I can’t find a way out of this mess by myself.  I need help from everybody who has good ideas.  I don’t care if the person is a Republican or a Democrat or an independent.  If we don’t get this ship turned soon, we’re all sunk.  So let’s pull together, work together, ignore all ‘political’ considerations, not give a rat’s behind about who gets the credit, and fix this thing.  It’s not going to be easy.  It’s going to hurt.  It’s going to take sacrifice on the part of us all.  It’s not going to be popular.  A lot members of my party are not going to like me.  And I may never be elected to anything again in my life.  But this problem is bigger than me and it’s bigger than political parties, so for at least a season, let’s work together, and God help us get this thing done.”

And wouldn’t it be refreshing to hear Romney say, “Ditto!  If I’m elected, I’m going to adopt that same approach and attitude.  And if it costs me re-election in four years, then at least it will be in a good cause.”

And wouldn’t it be refreshing to hear Congress say, “At least until we get these massive problems solved we don’t have ‘both sides of the aisle,’ we have no aisle.  We are in this together.  To heck with party goals and special interest groups and political action committees and lobbyists!  We’re going to think America first and party not at all.  And every one of us is willing to lose our next election to get these problems fixed.”

But, of course, we won’t hear this out of the mouth of either candidate or the Congress.  They’re too beholding to ideologies, too beholding to their political parties, too interested in power, too worried about re-election and campaign contributions.  I have no doubt that both men and most reps and senators want to do good and right by America.  But I fear they’re too blinded by their ideologies and their quest for power to humble themselves, think for themselves, swallow their pride, take hands, exercise a little personal courage, and actually do what the American people elect them to do.  Can’t they fuss about social issues later, and work on righting this economy now?  I know there are important foreign policy issues at stake.  And I know we all want to fight about abortion and gay marriage and who’s going to pay for whose contraceptives, but the economy is an issue that must be resolved and quickly or we’ll be crushed by our mountain of debt.  It’s time for all the would-be Neros in Washington to quit fiddling and start putting out the fire that could potentially burn our nation down to the ashes of history.  Yet, the fiddles play on.

I can hear you now: “McCallum, you’re a political cynic.”  You’re right; I am.  “McCallum, don’t you understand that all this posturing and filibustering and lying and smearing and distorting and voting the party-line, is just the way the game is played?”  Yes I do.  And that’s precisely the point: this is not a game.  It’s real life.  It’s affecting real people.  And the nation is on the brink.  Anybody who can work basic math can see that our current economic situation is so dangerous to America’s future that it’s as if our nation is the Titanic and instead of 2012 it’s 1912.  Surely someone in Washington, someone with the power to do something about it, someone with their hand on the wheel, can see the iceberg dead ahead.

God help us all!   

Preaching on Sex: The Cutting Room Floor (Part 2)

As I mentioned in my blog post earlier this week, Sunday’s sermon on sex was a little long and there were several things I gathered in my research I was unable to fit into the sermon.  Those things ended up on the cutting room floor, but they are worthy to read and consider.  I included some of those things in Part 1.  Here are a few more things to help you think wisely about sexual issues in marriage and in our culture.

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From The Week, February 16, 2007 via Leadership (Summer 2007), 59.  This will make men feel good about themselves (see sarcasm):

A survey of 1,000 American women found that most valued their favorite clothes more than sex and would gladly abstain for 15 months in exchange for an entirely new wardrobe.

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In his book, 11, Len Sweet (p. 32) quotes this statement from Bill Perkins for those who think they're immune from ever falling into sexual sin: “If you think you can’t fall into sexual sin, then you’re godlier than David, stronger than Samson, and wiser than Solomon.”

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Here’s part of an article dealing with a study of sex and co-habitation: Busby, D.M., Carroll, J.S., & Willoughby, B. J., "Compatibility or restraint? The effects of sexual timing on marriage relationships," Journal of Family Psychology (2010) | posted 3/07/2011 at PreachingToday.com

Does delaying sex until after marriage improve your marital relationship? According to a 2010 research study, the answer is a clear yes. As reported in the Journal of Family Psychology (and later in the January 22, 2011, edition of The Economist), the study surveyed 2,035 married couples and asked them about their initial sexual experience together (before or after the wedding). Of the 2,035 couples, 336 couples reported waiting until they got married to have sex. The largest group of couples had sex within a few weeks of dating, and 126 couples had sex prior to dating. (This prompted a psychologist who reviewed the study to note, "I guess I'm not sure what constitutes dating anymore.")

After analyzing the data, the three researchers concluded that waiting until after marriage improved the relationship (for both men and women) in four key areas: sexual quality, relationship communication, relationship satisfaction, and perceived relationship stability. According to the study, people who waited until marriage:

·         rated sexual quality 15 percent higher than people who had premarital sex

·         rated relationship stability 22 percent higher

·         rated satisfaction with their relationships 20 percent higher

The data showed that premarital sex doesn't necessarily doom the future marriage to failure. On the other hand, based on this research, there is no validity to the idea that premarital sex is needed to "test" and possibly improve the future marriage relationship. The authors stated that waiting until after the wedding day (what they call "commitment-based sexuality") "is more likely to create a sense of security and clarity between partners … about exclusivity and a future."

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In the article, “Sex Economics 101,” Katelyn Beaty asked Mark Regnerus, an early-marriage sociologist, about his research on the sexual behavior and attitudes of young adults.  (Posted on February 18, 2011, at ChristianityToday.com).

In light of the predominance of internet pornography, Beaty asked Regnerus this question: How does pornography change the sexual marketplace, for women as well as men?  This is Regnerus’ answer:

It takes power away from women as a group, because it provides men with another sexual outlet. Some will say that Playboy has been around a long time, but today's porn is not like that. It puts one bedside in high definition. Individual women notice it in their relationships, especially in marriage. But even before marriage, it's still at work, eroding the value of what she has that he wants. Now she has to compete with virtual sex partners as well as other women.

I used to think young women would have the last laugh here—that men would come to understand that sex is not like porn. I'm not so sure about that anymore. Speaking as a sociologist, you can't form enough accountability groups to erase the effects of porn on the relationship pool. It's not just about helping Joe Christian steer clear of this thing he'd like. It colors more than we think.

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And there you have it—a few more things, some of them rather troubling, to provide grist for the mill of your thinking in regard to sexuality in our culture and for the church.  I encourage you to add your voice to this discussion in our culture.  God knows the anything-goes voices have had the floor long enough.